


You don't know me (but I want you to)

by TsingaDark



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Pastel Dan Howell, Pastel Dan and Punk Phil, Punk Phil Lester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-02 04:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11501976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TsingaDark/pseuds/TsingaDark
Summary: “If you agree to go on a date with me.”“That’s blackmailing,” he replied cooly. His hands were sweating uncontrollably and he had to restrain himself from wiping them on his trousers.“Is that a yes?” If possible, Phil’s smirk grew even wider and he leant forwards, into Dan’s space.“No,” Dan spat. “I’d rather have a date with the fucking janitor.”or: the one were Punk!Phil asks Pastel!Dan out on a date and Dan says no, but Phil is adamant at making Dan change his mind.





	You don't know me (but I want you to)

**Author's Note:**

> this fic has literally been in the making for over a year lol
> 
> don't quite like how it turned out in the end but I can't sit on this any longer, so enjoy

Dan’s morning had started particularly good with his mum making pancakes for breakfast, but had, _of course_ , deteriorated the moment he’d set foot outside.

Firstly, and Dan should’ve known this to be a bad omen, it started to pour as soon as he was too far away from his house to go back and get an umbrella. The rain immediately destroyed his carefully straightened hair, making the curls appear he so desperately wanted to be gone.

When he’d arrived at school, already miserable from the walk, he’d been shoved while climbing up the stairs to the front entrance, managing to fall down face first and scraping his hands on the rough stone stairs. The following laughter of all the bystanders wasn’t even the worst thing about it though, no, he’d also stained his white jeans right at the knees, making him look absolutely ridiculous.

Thirdly, and this was closely linked to the incident moments before, the minute he actually stepped foot inside the school building, he was shoved into a locker, the hard exterior of it making his galaxy backpack dig uncomfortably into his back. He didn’t even try fighting back, there was no point really. Despite being over 6 foot tall, Dan was as intimidating as a butterfly without wings and equally as pugnacious. Well, that last one wasn’t quite true; Dan had a hard time biting back the sarcastic remarks he so desperately wanted to utter, but he knew from experience that that would only make his situation worse. He’d tried that once and had walked around with a swollen shut eye for three days. Needless to say, he’d learnt his lesson.

For some reason, those facts and Dan’s choice of pastel clothing and cute flower crowns he wore from time to time made him a target for basically every bully in school. Which was why one of Phil Lester’s lackeys was currently yelling insults at him and hurling spit in Dan’s face with every word. Sadly enough, Dan was used to this kind of thing happening to him, if not daily then on a weekly basis, so he didn’t even bat an eyelash.

After Dan had finally been let go and gone to the bathroom to wash off the spit on his face and at least some of the dirt on his trousers, he went looking for PJ. He eventually found him in the library, where PJ almost always hid from the bullies who didn’t dare start anything where Ms Moore, the librarian, could see them. Despite her petite form and kind eyes suggesting that she was easygoing and lax, the way her face changed from smiling to glaring in the fraction of a second stated the complete opposite. Dan was pretty sure _everyone_ respected her, no matter their status or opinion on libraries.

PJ was doodling when Dan let himself fall into the seat beside him. From what Dan could see, he was working on the next part of the futuristic comic he’d started some weeks ago.

Dan didn’t even bother saying good morning, presuming that PJ was too absorbed in his comic to pay attention to him. Instead, he pillowed his head on his arms on the desk in front of him and lazily watched PJ draw.

“Oh, good morning, PJ,” PJ said mockingly, when Dan simply continued sitting there, not saying anything. “I hope you had a lovely weekend!”

“Ugh,” Dan groaned, rolling his eyes. “We saw each other yesterday, why the fuck would I even say that?”

“To be nice?” PJ replied, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, wait, you’re not nice. Sorry, I forgot.”

“Shut up!” Dan laughed, sitting up and hitting PJ lightly on his arm.

Immediately, there was a loud, disapproving “Shush!” coming from their right. Ms Moore glared at them from her position behind the front desk.

“Sorry,” Dan and PJ whispered in unison. They both tried to suppress the laughter bubbling up inside of them, failing miserably, but thankfully, Ms Moore graciously decided to let them stay anyway - probably because she knew the library was their haven.

Maybe this day wouldn’t be so bad after all, Dan thought as he watched PJ draw a doodle of both of them on the moon.  


***  


The day couldn’t have been worse. After the fiasco that had been the morning, Dan had had a pleasant ten minutes with PJ in the library before classes had started and thereby Dan’s doom. Okay, maybe that was a bit exaggerated. But Dan had been shoved an entirety of two more times before third period had even started, so PJ and he had opted to have lunch in the library.

Of course, this had to be the one day where they wouldn’t be left alone there, which was just Dan’s luck. He’d ended up with lettuce in his hair and nothing left to eat and had spent the rest of lunch period hiding in the bathroom, where PJ and him had listened to music. Which had been a miracle in itself, considering Dan had been at fault for the Lettuce Incident because he just couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

Needless to say, Dan was in a foul mood once the bell rang, signaling the end of school. He hurriedly made his way over to his locker, only to stop short once it came into view.

Phil Lester, whose people had made this day a living hell - and a lot of other days, too - was stood in front of Dan’s locker, casually leaning against it and looking like he didn’t give a damn - which he probably didn’t.

Dan’s first thought was that Phil was there to beat him up and that he should probably turn around while he was still able to walk and get the fuck out of there.

His second thought, however, involved a lot of swear words directed towards Phil. What the fuck did he think he was doing, standing in front of Dan’s locker, trying to scare him? What right did he have to beat Dan up? What had Dan ever done to deserve this? He’d never looked Phil in the eyes, hell, he’d never even talked to Phil before. Fuck Phil Lester and his stupid gang or whatever the hell he liked to call his lackeys! Dan wouldn’t give in to him and he wouldn’t be afraid of some stupid guy just because he wore a leather jacket and had lots of tattoos. Dan might look the complete opposite of intimidating with his pastel clothes, but that didn’t mean that he was done fighting back.

He didn’t even notice PJ bumping into him as he made his way towards his locker, determinedly putting one foot in front of the other.

“Dan?” PJ asked, fear apparent in his voice. Well, it wasn’t every day that Phil Lester stood in front of one’s locker and it happened even more rarely that someone would not be cooperative.

“That’s my locker,” Dan snapped as soon as he was close enough, glaring at Phil.

Phil slowly looked up, smirking at Dan. His eyes were framed with black eyeliner and his teeth were casually playing with his snakebites as his gaze roamed over Dan’s body. “I know.”

Dan huffed. “Will you please step away from it,” he said, at least trying to be a little bit polite, but even to his own ears the words sounded forced.

“I will,” Phil said, grinning even more, and Dan could tell that this wasn’t the end of it. “If you agree to go on a date with me.”

Dan could hear PJ sucking in a huge gulp of air behind him. He didn’t blame him; Dan was probably as surprised as PJ was, but he wasn’t going to show it. He’d never in a million years go on a date with such an asshole like Phil.

“That’s blackmailing,” he replied cooly. His hands were sweating uncontrollably and he had to restrain himself from wiping them on his trousers.

“Is that a yes?” If possible, Phil’s smirk grew even wider and he leant forwards, into Dan’s space.

“No,” Dan spat. “I’d rather have a date with the fucking janitor.”

Phil’s smirk faltered for a second, but then he stepped closer to Dan. “I heard that you were sassy. Didn’t think you’d _actually_ be this cheeky.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” Dan said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “Y’know what, I’ve changed my mind. I don’t need to use my locker. Goodbye.”

With those words he turned around swiftly, grabbing a fistful of PJ’s shirt and dragging him with him. He tried not to speed up the closer they came towards the exit but also wanted to come across as the one who had the upper hand in this scenario, even though everyone involved knew that was actually Phil.

Once they were safely outside and had left the school grounds, Dan felt safe enough to let his guard down. And he managed to let go of PJ’s shirt, too, which he’d forgot he’d had a death grip on.

“What the _fuck_?” PJ breathed besides him. “What the fuck just happened?”

“I don’t know.” Dan looked behind them, to see if Lester had finally caught up and was now after them to beat the shit out of them, but there was no sign of him.

“What the fuck,” PJ said, his vocabulary apparently having been reduced to that one sentence.

“I think I have a death wish,” Dan replied, bursting into laughter. He’d never had a problem talking back to teachers, but Phil Lester? That was a completely different story. He was so _dead_.

“Why the fuck are you laughing?” PJ asked. Dan could tell that he was trying to be serious, but he sounded like he was seconds away from laughing, too.

“Mate, I’m gonna be dead as soon as I step foot into the school building tomorrow, might as well enjoy my last day being alive.”

“Please let me have your video games when you inevitably get crushed to death by Lester?” PJ begged. Dan was only partly sure that he was joking.

“No fucking way,” Dan said, still laughing. “I wanna be buried with those so I can play video games in hell.”

“Why am I even friends with you?” PJ asked, rolling his eyes, but Dan could hear that he was joking.

“Because otherwise you’d have to go home now and you wouldn’t be able to sit in front of the tv all day playing video games,” Dan replied. He raised an eyebrow and waited for PJ to contradict him.

PJ groaned dramatically. “You’re a horrible friend. First you get us thrown out of the library,” - Dan wanted to protest at that, because a) they hadn’t been thrown out, they’d _fled_ , and b) it technically hadn’t been his fault, but PJ kept talking over him - “and then you force me to play video games with you. Absolutely detesting.”

Dan only laughed at that. “Whatever. You love me.”

Instead of answering, PJ chuckled and bumped his shoulder into Dan’s as they made their way up to Dan’s house. If Dan did indeed end up killed the next day, at least this would be a nice way to spend his last hours on earth. And who knew, maybe Phil had actually taken the hint and would leave Dan alone, just glaring at him from a distance instead of full on murdering him behind the dumpsters.  


***  


Phil did not leave him alone.

But he also didn’t straight out kill Dan when he stepped foot in the school building, so he counted it as a small win. Of course, Phil being who he was - an intimidating bully that everyone feared - that didn’t mean he left Dan alone. In fact, the first thing Dan noticed upon nearing his locker, was Phil leaning on the one next to his. For a short moment it felt like his heart stopped, fear clawing its way up his throat, but when Phil only continued to stand there, arms crossed in front of his chest, he forced himself to relax a tiny bit. It didn’t seem like Phil wanted to beat him to a pulp in front of all the people currently frequenting the hallway. And at least he seemed to have learnt from their last encounter and had left space for Dan to actually use his locker this time.

“Good morning, princess,” he drawled when Dan put in his combination, completely ignoring Phil. He glared at Phil before opening his locker, the door blocking his view of Phil, which he was very grateful for.

“What, are just going to ignore me now?” Phil asked, coming closer and leaning around the door into Dan’s personal space with a smirk.

There were so many things Dan wanted to say - just because he currently wore a pastel blue jumper and light grey jeans did not mean that he was automatically a _princess_ as Phil had so eloquently put it, and neither did he appreciate Phil coming so close.

Instead of saying any of that, Dan sighed. He wasn’t in the mood to start a fight this early or upset Lester, as much as he felt the need to defend himself. “What do you want?”

“I told you, I want to take you on a date,” Phil said, grinning at Dan finally giving him attention.

“Right,” Dan replied, unbelieving. He was pretty sure Phil had an ulterior motive. There was no way he actually wanted to go on a date with Dan. Not to mention that being seen with the “fairy”, as certain people liked to call him, would surely ruin his reputation.

“Is that a yes?”

Dan rolled his eyes. “No, and it never will be.”

“Hm,” Phil replied, raising his pierced eyebrow, “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

Dan took a deep breath, so he wouldn’t just tell Phil to fuck off again. Though, judging from the incident the previous day, Phil would probably take it in stride and not hit Dan for being so blatantly disrespecting. Not that Phil deserved any respect, but most bullies thought they did.

“Believe whatever you want,” Dan said, irritated at Phil’s cocky behaviour, “but I will never go out with you.”

For some reason, that only made Phil smirk. “You’ll change your mind, trust me.”

“No, I will not,” Dan argued, slamming his locker shut. A few people passing by looked over at the sudden noise and some even stopped to watch their exchange, which didn’t surprise Dan. Everyone in this goddamn school basically lived for drama, especially if it happened on someone else’s expense.

He turned on his heel, not bothering to add anything else, and walked off to find PJ. He didn’t need to look around to know everyone was staring at him when Phil’s loud voice boomed through the hallway.

“I will not leave you alone until you go out with me, Dan Howell!”  


***  


True to his word - and Dan really should’ve expected this, it was Phil Lester after all - Phil basically followed him around everywhere. It was like a nightmare come true, only that Phil didn’t bother beating him up and instead tortured him by coming up close behind him and whispering in his ear. Dan was pretty sure he was going to go crazy if this continued for much longer. Especially since he had no intention whatsoever to give in to Phil.

“Why was Lester waiting for you after class?” PJ whispered, incredulity and fear evident in his eyes.

They were sitting in the library, in the sternmost corner where hopefully no one would be able to find them. At least that was what Dan hoped. He really didn’t need Phil to invade the one place where he usually felt quite safe.

PJ was working on another drawing, something that looked a lot like a cat in space, while Dan stuffed his face with a sandwich his mum had made that morning.

“Are you sure you don’t want to leave me your video games?”

Dan laughed at that, a tad too loud. “No, I’m not actually in any imminent danger.”

PJ looked at him disbelieving, which Dan really couldn’t blame him for. Phil Lester taking interest in someone usually didn’t mean anything good.

“He still wants to go out with me,” Dan explained before taking another bite of his sandwich.

“With _you_ ?” PJ asked incredulously, putting his pen down. “I thought that was just a joke. Why would he want to go out with _you_?”

“Gee, thanks, PJ.” Dan rolled his eyes. “Tell me how you really feel.”

“No, I mean, like, why would he want to go out with someone _like_ you. We’re losers and we’re nothing like him. I don’t understand.”

“Well, that makes two of us,” Dan said with a sigh. He didn’t think he’d ever understand what was going on in Phil’s mind.  


***  


Dan was going crazy. Actual bat-shit crazy. There was no other explanation for what he was seeing.

Again, Phil Lester was stood next to his locker, which was quickly becoming a daily occurrence. But that wasn’t what fazed Dan. No, it was the actual, honest to God rose in Phil’s hand. A lovely, vibrantly red rose that he held out for Dan when Dan had made it to his locker without dying of a heart attack.

Eloquently, the first thing Dan said was, “What?”

Phil looked down at the rose and then back up to Dan. “I know this doesn’t quite fit the pastel vibe you’re going for, but a little bird told me you like flowers.”

Dan felt warmth rise in his cheeks, but despite being flattered that Phil had got him a rose - no one had ever given him a flower before - he was still aware of the obvious issue he had with this, namely the _flower-giver_.

“Giving me a flower won’t change that I don’t like your personality,” Dan said, only marginally noticing Phil’s perpetual smirk faltering.

“I’m sure you will change your mind about that,” Phil said confidently. The rose was still in his outstretched hand, waiting for Dan to take it.

“I don’t think so,” Dan replied and completely ignored the way Phil wiggled the rose in front of him. He had no intention whatsoever to take it. He really didn’t want to encourage Phil in any way, lest this would never end.

Fortunately, at that moment he saw PJ walk into the school building from the corner of his eye. He quickly shut his locker and adjusted his backpack on his shoulder.

“Have a nice day,” he said, not meaning any of it, and made his way over to PJ before Phil could get another word in.

PJ looked like he was about to make a comment, his mouth already open, but Dan beat him to it. “Please don’t,” he said with a sigh, which actually made PJ reconsider.

As exciting - both in a bad and good way if Dan was being honest - as this whole ordeal with Phil had been at the beginning, it was nothing but annoying at this point. That guy simply couldn’t take Dan’s answer as what it was - a rejection. Even if Phil wasn’t a bully who had made Dan’s life at school a living hell, his ongoing behaviour certainly made Dan want to never be in his company again.

The rose that he found in his locker after school had ended did not change that fact one bit.  


***  


“What if he never stops?” PJ asked right in the middle of a Mario Kart game that Dan was currently winning. Well, up to that point anyway.

“Who?” he asked back, swearing under his breath as his character got hit by a blue shell and he fell back to second place.

PJ scoffed. “Lester, obviously.”

He was right behind Dan on third place and Dan kind of suspected he’d only started talking about Phil to distract him. Which, unfortunately, worked better than he liked to admit.

“Trust me, he’ll eventually get bored of me.”

“Will he though? You’ve been saying that for, like, a week,” PJ replied, just as he surpassed Dan and made it to the first place, rushing over the finish line with Dan having fallen back on third place. “Yes!”

“Fuck this,” Dan swore, throwing the controller onto the couch and making PJ chuckle.

“I’m just saying, what if he keeps getting more insistent?” he said, leaning over Dan to grab the box of snacks on the other end of the couch.

“Look, I don’t know what you’re getting at,” Dan started, only to be interrupted by PJ.

“I’m not getting at anyth-”

“ _PJ_ ,” Dan said, with both eyebrows raised. “If you’re suggesting I say yes to that dickwad that has made both of our lives _hell_ , I need to seriously reconsider being friends with you.”

“No, I, _no_ ,” PJ said, his face twisting into a grimace. “Of course not. But what if you have to go through the rest of school with Lester glued to your side? Imagine that. It’s gonna be like hell multiplied.”

“Well, at least you’ll have to go through it with me,” Dan laughed and dodged the pillow that PJ tried to hit him with, which resulted in a pillow-fight that Dan inevitably lost.

After, when they were lying side by side on the floor, shoving snacks into their mouths and talking about the newest comic PJ had bought, Dan thought that surely Phil would realise sooner rather than later that Dan wasn’t worth his energy. At least he really hoped so.  


***  


Dan had definitely underestimated Phil’s endurance. Maybe PJ was right and he would be stuck with Phil until he graduated, which was a terrifying thought. At least - though Dan wasn’t sure that was actually down to Phil - he hadn’t been beaten up again since Phil had made it his mission to annoy the fuck out of him. Maybe this was his new form of torture, irritate someone so much that they would eventually go crazy. If that was his plan, it was certainly working quite well with him.

When Phil was casually leaning next to his locker again the next morning, his hands behind his back, Dan contemplated simply dropping out of school or moving away. He was sure there was some kind of way he could convince his parents to just leave everything behind and start fresh somewhere without a leather-jacket-wearing guy named Phil.

But then again, he wouldn’t be able to leave PJ to these assholes. He’d rather bear Phil’s consistent advances than lose his best friend.

“Good morning,” Phil said, rather cheery, when Dan walked up to him. At this point, no one even stopped to look anymore, which was incredibly rare considering everyone of their classmates loved to know what was going on at all times to be on top of the gossip.

“Ugh,” Dan just said, opening his locker as if in trance. He definitely hadn’t got enough sleep last night. He wasn’t even awake enough to try and make Phil go away.

“I have something for you.” Phil tried to close Dan’s locker door so he would be able to get his full attention but Dan immediately glared at him. He did not have the patience for this shit today.

“I don’t want it,” he grumbled.

“Oh, someone got out of the wrong side of bed today,” Phil teased. “But I think _this_ will make your day better.”

With those words, he got his arms out from behind him and held out something to Dan. For the first time since Dan had looked at him, there was something new in his expression. Maybe Dan was only imagining it, but there was a softness there that he’d never seen before, and - was Phil nervous? Dan almost laughed out loud at that, because _of course_ Phil wasn’t. Phil didn’t do nervous or any emotions related to that.

When Dan was finally able to tear his gaze away from Phil’s face and looked down, his breath caught for a second. He was holding a flower crown, made out of various blue-coloured flowers, and well, it didn’t really fit Dan’s outfit because he’d chosen a pastel pink sweater that morning, but dear God, was it beautiful anyway. Dan was shortly tempted to take it. He didn’t though.

Instead, to avoid saying something he would regret, namely something _nice_ , he just walked away. It was only when he was already sitting in class that he realised he’d left his locker open.  


***  


Despite the Flower Crown Incident, as Dan liked to refer to it in his head, Phil hadn’t been discouraged. If anything, he seemed even more adamant at making Dan change his mind. Which he wouldn’t, but Phil hadn’t understood it so far, so Dan doubted that he ever would. To be completely honest, he’d already resigned himself to a life with Phil by his side. He was just glad that Phil hadn’t scared away all of his friends yet.

Well, at least the three that he had, who were all currently sitting in the cafeteria with him. Since neither he nor PJ had been massively bullied or followed by anyone other than Phil, they’d deemed it safe to actually eat in the cafeteria for once instead of hiding out in the library.

Dan just hoped that it wouldn’t result in a repetition of the Lettuce Incident or the Spaghetti Disaster, which he didn’t even want to think about. He hadn’t been able to eat spaghetti for a week, which was quite dramatic for someone who solely lived off pasta.

PJ was drawing, as always, while Chris watched him and gave commentary on how much PJ’s character looked like it had poop on its head. Thankfully, Louise’s presence saved Dan from listening to that as she engaged him in a very interesting conversation on makeup, specifically highlighter. Honestly, Dan didn’t know what he would do without Louise.

Well, he’d probably walk around looking like a clown on the days he did decide to wear some makeup. Subtlety had never been his strong point.

He was actually having fun for once, which probably should’ve alerted him that something was about to go wrong.

That something happened to be in the form of Phil Lester, who suddenly stood right next to him. “Can I sit there?” he asked, and all conversation at the table ceased, which didn’t seem to faze Phil one bit. He gaze was still completely focused on Dan, who just rolled his eyes.

“No.” He turned back around to face Louise, ready to just go on ignoring Phil.

Phil sat down anyway, which, to be fair, Dan should’ve seen coming. After all, Phil did not give up easily and he definitely did not take Dan’s no for an actual no.

“How has your day been so far?” Phil asked from behind him.

Dan was refusing to turn around and engage him in conversation. He was so used to this by now, he didn’t even question it, but when he tried to speak to Louise, he noticed that her brows were furrowed and that she was looking back and forth between him and Phil.

“Is he harassing you?” she suddenly asked.

“Yes,” Dan said, rolling his eyes, at the same time as Phil said, “No.”

There was a moment of silence when Dan turned around and raised an eyebrow at Phil’s answer. “Oh, really?” he asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “And what do you call this then? You are constantly following me around wherever I go, you give me gifts I don’t want, I can’t even go from class to class without you being there. I’ve told you time and time again that I don’t want to date you, but _apparently_ , you can’t take my rejection for what it is and simply decide to ignore what I want. Heck, we’re not even _friends_ . Actually, we’re anything _but_ friends and you still choose to follow me around everywhere.”

Dan took a deep breath after his rant. “And you don’t call that harassment? Because that’s _clearly_ what it is.”

Once again, there was a heavy silence. Phil’s mouth had fallen open at Dan’s words and he was staring at Dan like he wasn’t quite sure what he was seeing.

“Oh,” he then said, in a tone so unlike the way he usually spoke that Dan didn’t even realise at first it had come from Phil.

“Is that,” he started, only to make a short pause before he continued quietly, “is that what you think?” He sounded so terribly insecure and hurt that Dan almost felt bad for him.

“What?” Dan asked back, trying really hard not to roll his eyes at Phil. “Do I think that you’re harassing me? Yes, Phil, that’s literally what you’re doing.”

“Oh,” Phil said again, like he didn’t know what to say. “I, um, I’m sorry,” he added eventually, and wait, _what_?

Phil Lester had actually just apologised to him? What kind of alternate universe was this?

“I didn’t know that was what you think,” he said and fucking blushed. If Dan didn’t know better, he’d say Phil was actually embarrassed.

“What, with me constantly telling you so?” Dan couldn’t help but say.

“I, um, I’m sorry,” Phil said again. “I won’t bother you anymore.”

With those words, he got up and left. Dan could only stare at his retreating form, not quite sure that had actually happened. “What the hell?” he mumbled to himself.

“Well, that wasn’t nice,” he suddenly heard Louise say from next to him.

Dan turned to glare at her. “Are you seriously telling me I should’ve been _nicer_ to the person that _harassed_ me for the past two weeks?”

“Of course not,” Louise replied, and smiled at Dan in that way she did whenever he was being stupid. Which happened way too often if he was being honest. “I just meant the overall situation. I’d never condone someone harassing my friend.”

“Sorry,” Dan said sheepishly.

She reached out and put her arm around him, pulling him to her chest. She hugged him for a few moments before she let him go with a pat to the head. Sometimes it really felt like she was the mum of their little group. Which didn’t come from nowhere, considering him, PJ and Chris all at once were like actual children sometimes.

It wasn’t soon after that the bell rang to signalise the end of lunch period and Dan was happily surprised that Phil wasn’t waiting for him anywhere as he walked to his next class. He was finally able to enjoy PJ’s presence again without having to fend off the boy with the leather jacket and tattoos.  


***  


Dan had to admit that he kind of expected Phil to be standing next to his locker the next day. He was only marginally disappointed when he didn’t, but at the same he was also glad that Phil had finally decided to leave him alone. Fending him off had become exhausting if also kind of routinely. It was nice though, that he and PJ didn’t have to hide from Phil in the library anymore.

Well, they still had to hide there most of the time, but at least not from Phil himself, mostly just the other bullies.

Also, and this was essential to Dan’s well-being if he was being honest, they were able to go outside and sit in their favourite spot in the woods right next to the school’s football field. It was a nice place to be in peace for a while, at least until the next class began.

Dan usually liked to make flower-crowns out of daisies while PJ continued drawing one of his comics. Of course, that only worked when the weather was nice and it hadn’t rained the day before but now that spring was finally there, they spent more and more time outside.

Of course, the first day that the sun was beating down, making everyone complain about how they were wearing too many clothes, PJ managed to be sick, leaving Dan to go outside on his own. To be fair, he could’ve asked Chris to come with, but they didn’t get on that well without PJ, and Louise usually spent her free periods with other friends and Dan didn’t want to make her choose. He’d taken a book with him anyway, so he’d be fine for the time being.

He quickly made his way outside after the bell had rung, not even making a stop at his locker to get rid of some of his books. He wouldn’t be walking around much anyway, so it didn’t matter how heavy his backpack was.

There were a few puffy white clouds up in the blue sky, which had a striking resemblance to the shirt Dan was currently wearing. This outfit would’ve fit well with the flower crown Phil had sneaked into his locker after Dan had refused to take it, but despite Phil finally having left him alone, Dan still didn’t want to wear it. For some reason, it just didn’t feel right (which didn’t mean that he didn’t stare at it for a tad too long every morning, but no one needed to know that).

He was so focused on the clouds above him that he didn’t notice the people coming up behind him until it was too late. A hand forcefully grabbed his shoulder and shoved him forwards so that he stumbled. He thankfully didn’t fall, which definitely wouldn’t have been good considering he was wearing his light grey jeans again.

“What’s up, fairy?” a voice behind him asked, and Dan swivelled around, having found his footing again, only to be faced with three guys he knew by sight. This certainly wasn’t the first time they’d decided to torment him.

Despite his heart beating faster, Dan couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes. “Really? You haven’t been able to come up with something better yet?”

He regretted the words as soon as they’d left his mouth. The guy stood closest to him - his name might have been Joe or John or something similar - looked like he was more than ready to punch Dan in the face repeatedly. Dan really didn’t want to find out if that was true.

“Shut your mouth, fag,” another guy said. His blonde hair was so short that Dan was pretty sure he’d get sunburn on his head would he stay in the sun any longer.

“I’m not gay,” Dan started to say, which, in hindsight, probably wasn’t the best thing he could’ve said. Trying to explain to these half-wits that bisexual and gay weren’t the same thing was pretty much a lost cause. Nevermind that they only assumed he was gay because of his outfit, which was wrong on so many levels, Dan didn’t even know where to start.

Unfortunately, he didn’t get any further, even if he had wanted to. Before he knew what was happening, a fist collided painfully with his jaw and he lost his balance, falling backwards. His books were pressing into his back where he was lying on them and for a short moment that was all he could feel, until an overwhelming pain bloomed where he’d been hit. He groaned and rolled onto his side, about to get up. Apparently, that had been the wrong thing to do because the next thing he could feel was someone kicking him in the stomach, with so much force that Dan immediately rolled into a ball.

At first, he clutched his stomach as his eyes welled up, but when a second kick followed the first, he instinctively pulled his arms up to shield his head. Everything hurt and he was distantly aware that he was pleading for them to stop, his words coming out a garbled mess through the tears that kept rolling down his cheeks.

He could hear them laughing, like his pain was a sick joke to them, like this didn’t have any consequences for them whatsoever. Which it probably wouldn’t; this only affected Dan.

“What the _fuck_ do you think you’re doing?” an angry voice yelled suddenly. The laughing stopped and then the kicks, but Dan didn’t dare come out of his safe position.

“Get away from him!” The person was much closer now and while Dan really, really appreciated the person’s effort to help him, the yelling made his head pound to the point where he thought he would pass out soon.

“What, you’re defending the fairy now?” one of the guys who’d beaten him up only seconds ago said incredulously.

“You have a problem with that?” the first voice growled, anger and fury even obvious to Dan, who still kept his eyes clenched shut.

“Well, yeah,” the other guy replied.

There was a moment of silence and then what sounded like a fist colliding with someone else’s body part, a loud groan a second later.

“If I see you touching him again, I will fucking _end_ you, do you understand?” His rescuer’s voice was quiet but undeniably strong, leaving no room for backtalk.

There was no answer. Instead, Dan could hear quick footsteps fading away until they were completely gone. He still didn’t dare moving, lest someone realised he was still there and ready for another round of beating.

“Dan?” This time, the voice sounded much, much softer.

Someone touched his shoulder and Dan instantly flinched away, curling up on himself even more. The hand immediately retreated.

“Dan, hey,” the voice said again, this time a little bit closer still. “It’s me, Phil.”

Dan almost wanted to scoff. Had Phil come to punish Dan for rejecting him? But then again, wouldn’t he just do that instead of talking to Dan first?

“Hey, just,” Phil stopped and then exhaled heavily. “Just look at me, okay? I just want to see if you’re okay.”

This time, Dan did snort. Well, it came out sounding like a groan more than anything, but he was glad to know he was still able to even produce noises.

Slowly but surely, he lowered his arms, the sunlight blinding him for a short moment, making him unable to see anything. Biting his lip through the pain, he got his arms under himself and pushed himself into a sitting position. Everything around him was spinning for a few seconds and he considered simply laying down again, but then his eyes focused on Phil, who was kneeling beside him.

“I’m,” Dan tried to say, and had to cough before he could continue. “I’m fine.”

“God, Dan,” Phil breathed, his voice tinged with worry. “You look horrible.”

“Gee, thank you,” Dan replied, looking away from Phil and focusing on the parts of his body he could see. There were a lot of bruises already forming on his arms and he didn’t even want to know what the rest of his body looked like.

“No, I,” Phil protested, then huffed. “You just- let me take you to a doctor, yeah?”

Dan looked up at Phil at that, his head spinning from the sudden movement. “No.”

“Okay, no doctor then.” Phil furrowed his brows as his gaze swept over Dan’s arms. He raised his arm as if he was about to touch Dan but when Phil looked at his hand, realising what he was about to do, he let it sink to his side again.

“Let me take you home at least,” he said then, still sounding worried, and Dan just didn’t understand. Why was Phil so nice to him when all Dan had done was ignoring him and being rude?

Dan almost nodded, but then realised that he couldn’t go home looking like this. His mum would immediately know that something was wrong. Hell, the bruise on his face was probably already showing and that wasn’t something he could easily explain away. He didn’t want his parents to worry but most of all he wanted to avoid them forcing him to go to the school’s headmaster and address this problem. It would make everything even worse.

“I can’t go home,” he said. For some reason, that realisation made tears well up in his eyes again and he had to swallow in order not to cry again.

“Mum will notice and I can’t lie,” he added in a choked up voice.

“That’s,” Phil started and then shook his head as if he realised he couldn’t say what he wanted. “Okay.”

Dan stared at him. He hadn’t thought Phil would actually agree, but then again, they weren’t friends or anything even close to that, so why would he even care what Dan did?

“I’m taking you back to mine.”

Wait, _what_? Had he just heard that correctly or had he actually been hit on the head?

“I, what?” he asked incredulously. There was no way he would go home with Phil Lester, even if he had just saved him. Which, now that Dan actually thought about it, was quite weird. Didn’t Phil usually command those guys around?

Phil sighed. “Look, you just said you can’t go home, and I’m not leaving you here like this. You need to put ice on your jaw and God knows what other injuries you have, so please, just let me do this, okay?”

Dan could only continue to stare at Phil. “I, okay,” he eventually said, dumbfounded. He was sure that whatever Phil wanted to do, he would do it anyway, no matter what Dan said or did, so he might as well just go with him. He had nothing to lose at this point.

When Dan tried to get up, Phil reached for him and gingerly grasped his arm, pulling him up. Dan tried not to make any sound, but he couldn’t help but pitifully whimper when Phil accidentally applied too much pressure on a spot that felt like it had been hit repeatedly.

“Sorry.” Phil grimaced, and then tugged on Dan’s backpack, slipping it off Dan and onto his own shoulders. And as if that hadn’t been weird enough, he proceeded to put his arm around Dan’s waist to steady him.

It was the most surreal thing that had ever happened to Dan. Well, considering Phil had been glued to his side for about two weeks, it wasn’t even that strange, but Dan still couldn’t get a grasp on what was happening.

The way to Phil’s car took longer than it should’ve normally, but Dan’s body hurt with every step and Phil didn’t seem bothered by it. In fact, he patiently opened the door for Dan so he could slip onto the passenger seat and went as far as buckling up the belt for Dan, which he loudly protested. He might’ve been beaten up but he wasn’t a fucking child, thank you very much.

There was a short moment when Phil had already started the car, his hands on the steering wheel, when he simply stared straight ahead, his knuckles turning white. But then he caught himself and, with a lingering gaze at his right hand turned on the music as he pulled out of the school’s parking lot. To his surprise, there wasn’t any punk music coming out of the speakers, as Dan had expected. Instead, the melodic voice of Matt Bellamy greeted him. It shocked him a bit to know that Phil listened to one of the bands he absolutely loved. He didn’t think they had anything in common.

The drive to Phil’s house was short. So short, in fact, that Dan wondered why Phil even bothered to drive to school everyday. Surely, walking ten minutes wouldn’t hurt him? Who was he kidding though, he’d avoid walking, too, if he had that option. Apparently, they were both very lazy.

As soon as they’d made it into the house - Phil still helping him, even though Dan was more than able to walk on his own - the voice of a woman greeted them.

“Phil, is that you?”

“Yes, mum.” Phil shot Dan a quick look. “I brought a friend,” he then added. They both slipped out of their shoes and Dan followed Phil down the corridor into a spacious kitchen.

“Hello darling,” Phil’s mum said. She pressed a kiss to Phil’s cheek and well, Dan didn’t know what he’d expected, but it certainly hadn’t been this.

If anything, he’d pictured Phil to live in a dark house with horrible parents. Not a mum who was apparently baking cookies if the smell was anything to go by, and called Phil _darling_ of all things.

“This is Dan,” Phil introduced him.

Phil’s mum immediately came towards him, her smiling face changing to concerned when Dan stepped out from behind Phil. “Oh dear, are you alright?”

“Yes, thank you, Mrs Lester,” Dan said and even managed a small smile despite the pain in his jaw.

“Oh, please, it’s Kathryn,” she said and smiled at him. Dan instantly felt better for some reason. He supposed that was just the effect some mum’s had.

“Do we have any ice?” Before even waiting for an answer, Phil stepped towards the freezer and rummaged around in it.

“Yes, there’s a few ice packs in there,” his mum replied, still looking at Dan with concern.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” she then asked again.

Dan guessed that he looked pretty horrible, considering he’d been shoved to the ground and hit repeatedly, but it probably looked worse to Phil’s mum than it actually was. At least he hoped so.

“ _Mum_ ,” Phil said with emphasis before Dan could answer. He gave her a pointed look and then proceeded to carefully grab Dan’s arm to pull him with him to the stairs.

“At least take some cookies with you,” she exclaimed before they’d even made out of the kitchen. Three minutes later, they were loaded with a plate of cookies as they made their way upstairs to Phil’s room.

Dan couldn’t believe that just this morning he’d been glad that Phil hadn’t pestered him anymore. Well, he was still happy about that, but he never would’ve imagined to actually step foot in Phil’s house at any time, nevermind his room.

He was surprised anew however, when Phil shoved open the door with his arm - one hand was holding the plate and the other was still wrapped around Dan’s wrist, as if he was afraid Dan would bolt the minute he got the chance. Phil’s room looked nothing like Phil.

There were colours everywhere, the walls painted a light blue that fit the cover of his duvet, which was blue and green chequered. And then there was the bookshelf, stuffed full of Stephen King and fantasy novels, comic books and, most importantly, video games upon video games. It was like Dan had stepped into an alternate reality, where Phil was a secret nerd, who spent most of his time in his room, in front of his Playstation.

“What’s wrong?” Phil suddenly asked, and Dan realised that he’d stopped and was simply staring at everything around him.

“Nothing,” he said quickly, trying to inconspicuously see what video games Phil had, while fully stepping into the room.

“Ookay.” Phil sounded unconvinced but he was grinning slightly, telling Dan that he really hadn’t been as subtle as he thought.

Phil gestured towards his bed and Dan belatedly realised that Phil wanted him to sit down. He slowly let himself sink onto the fluffy duvet. Phil passed him one of the ice packs wrapped in a tea towel, which Dan gingerly pressed to his jaw, the sudden coldness making him press his teeth together, resulting in a wave of pain.

“Right,” Phil said, sitting down next to him. “Let’s have a look at where else you’re hurt.”

“What?” Surely Phil didn’t want him to remove his shirt? Or his trousers? While Dan was very grateful for all Phil had done so far, he really didn’t want Phil to see him in his underwear. Even if it was nice, pastel pink underwear.

“I just want to see if there’s anything you should go to A&E with,” Phil replied, rolling his eyes. “Don’t worry, you can leave all your clothes on, just pull up your t-shirt.”

Without further complaints, Dan did as asked. He couldn’t believe himself. For once, he wasn’t saying no to Phil.

There was an awkward moment where Phil pressed down on a forming bruise, making Dan hiss, which resulted in Phil pressing the other ice pack to that spot, which in turn made Dan flinch away from him.

“Sorry,” Phil laughed, when Dan grumbled and grabbed the ice pack, pressing it to his side himself.

“As if,” he huffed, but had to smile as well when Phil continued to grin at him.

A short moment of silence settled between them, in which Dan tried to make sense of everything that had happened so far. He just couldn’t understand why Phil had been interested in him in the first place or why he was now going out of his way to help him.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

“What?” Phil asked back, his brows furrowed. He sat up from where he’d lain back on the bed.

“This,” Dan said, swinging around his ice pack. “Helping me.”

Phil raised both of his eyebrows. “Are you serious?”

“Um, yeah?” Was that a trick question?

Phil quietly laughed to himself, looking at his hands in his lap and then back up at Dan again. “In case you haven’t figured it out, I quite like you,” Phil said softly, and there was that something in his eyes again that Dan had noticed when Phil had wanted to give him the flower crown. He still didn’t know what exactly it was.

“I didn’t just ask you out on a date for nothing.”

“Oh,” Dan said, because well, he hadn’t even considered that a possibility. Not that that would’ve changed anything, but still. It would’ve been nice to know anyway.

“I’m sorry, y’know,” Phil said when Dan didn’t add anything. He was looking down at his hands again instead of Dan.

“What for?”

“Everything?” Phil laughed again, but it was a sad, self-deprecating laugh and for the first time since Dan had come to know Phil, he wanted Phil to laugh properly, like he was happy. Which was wrong on so many levels, Dan didn’t even want to think about that.

“I didn’t take you seriously when you said no, even though I should’ve. I mean, I followed you around almost everywhere.”

“Yeah, you did,” Dan agreed easily. To be fair though, he didn’t actually hold much of a grudge. Sure, Phil had been annoying as fuck and he’d definitely overstepped boundaries, but at least he’d realised that he’d been wrong.

“Sorry,” Phil said again. “I swear I’m not usually like that.”

Dan only lifted an eyebrow at that. He didn’t know Phil very well. Actually, he didn’t know him at all, just from what other people had told him and that certainly had never been anything nice. Phil was known around school for beating people up, so he really doubted Phil wasn’t actually an asshole.

As if Phil had read his mind, he said quietly, “I’m not like everyone says I am.”

“Yeah, sure,” Dan scoffed. Even the fact that no one dared to say the name Lester out loud lest they would magically summon Phil already said a lot.

“No, I’m serious,” Phil said, stretching his right hand. Only now Dan noticed that his knuckles were a bit bruised and he distantly remembered the sound of someone hitting one of the guys that had beaten him up.

“I’ve never even hit anyone before today.”

Dan’s mouth dropped open. “You’re shitting me, right?”

“No, I,” Phil started to say, then looked away. Dan was willing Phil to look at him in his mind, so he could see if he was being honest, but of course, Phil didn’t have mind-reading powers so he simply continued to stare into the distance.

Dan took the risk and slowly poked Phil’s thigh, finally making Phil’s gaze return to him. “Tell me.”

“You probably don’t remember but about a year ago there was this guy who was beaten up really badly behind the gym after school.”

Dan did remember. Even though that guy hadn’t been in his year, he’d seen him around school. He’d looked pretty rough. And Dan also remembered who’d been responsible for that.

“Well, I don’t know who or why, but someone spread the rumour that I was the one who beat him up. At first, I denied it because I didn’t want anyone thinking I’d be capable of doing something so horrible, but no one believed me. And eventually I just decided not to say anything when someone asked, so everyone just assumed it had been me, even though it hadn’t been. And then every time someone else got beat up badly, people immediately pointed towards me. I think the leather jacket and the tattoos kind of clouded their visions.”

“I, wow,” Dan said dumbly. At first, he immediately put Phil down as a liar, but then he actually thought about what he’d said and realised that maybe he’d been wrong about Phil all along. He’d never actually seen Phil harm anyone, and he’d always just assumed that the people who liked to torment him were sent by Phil. But they’d never said so, had they?

Dan had fallen prey to stereotypical thinking as much as all the other people had, even though it was difficult for him to admit that. He’d always prided himself on being a tolerant and open-minded person, but apparently he wasn’t much different to his stuck-up and intolerant classmates. Maybe it was time to get to know the real Phil, to find out what laid beyond the leather-jacket, tattoos and eyeliner-framed eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Dan mumbled.

“It’s okay,” Phil said. “You don’t need to apologise. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Unlike you, you mean,” Dan joked before he could stop himself. Apparently, his sassy side would never be quiet in any kind of situation.

Fortunately, Phil laughed. “Ouch,” he said, dramatically pressing his hand to his heart.

Dan chuckled at Phil’s reaction. This was a side of him that he definitely wouldn’t mind getting to know.

“Would you,” he started, before he could change his mind. “Does that offer of a date still stand?”

Phil’s eyes widened. “You still want to go on a date with me?” he asked incredulously. “I thought you hated my guts.”

“I do,” Dan laughed. “But maybe there’s more to you than I realised.”

Instead of answering with a joke or something cocky, like Dan would’ve expected, Phil’s gaze turned soft. “The offer still stands.”

“I’m not saying that I actually want to date you at the moment,” Dan made clear. “But I would like to get to know you, and, um, maybe become, like, friends?”

“I’d like that very much.” Phil was still looking at him softly, and suddenly Dan realised what had been in Phil’s gaze all along - adoration. Of all the people, Phil, who dressed like a punk, adored Dan, the pastel-wearing bisexual. What a weird combination.

“Ready to start getting to actually know me?” Dan grinned at Phil and got up, walking towards Phil’s shelf. He grabbed one of the games and threw it at him. Instead of catching it, the game bumped into Phil’s raised hand and tumbled to the ground.

Phil immediately blushed. “I’m a bit clumsy,” he admitted, and well, Dan really hadn’t expected that, like so many other things he’d learnt that day.

“I hope you’re better when it comes to a virtual reality, because otherwise I’m about to annihilate you on Mario Kart.”

“Oh, you’re on!” Phil exclaimed, leaping up of the bed to shove the game into the console.

Dan settled back on the bed and watched as Phil prepared everything. When he sat down next to Dan, he smiled at him shortly, and despite the pain in his jaw, Dan smiled back.

Yeah, he really wouldn’t mind getting to know this side of Phil.  


***  


2 months later  


“Dan.”

Dan lifted his head from where he’d pillowed it on his arm. He was lying on the bed, scrolling through tumblr on his phone, while Fall Out Boy’s _Dance, Dance_ was playing in the background.

“Yeah?” He looked over to Phil, who was sat at Dan’s desk, doing his homework. Or well, he _had_ been doing his homework but now he’d turned around to face Dan. There was a bit of smudged eyeliner underneath his eyes and he generally looked a bit tired. It was a good thing that it was Friday and he would have the entire weekend to sleep. And play video games with Dan, which in turn would mean they’d stay up really late and get even less sleep than on a school day. It had become a sort of tradition for them to spend the weekend at each other’s house when Dan wasn’t spending time with PJ.

“I was wondering, um,” he said, trailing off, and looked down at his hand, which was playing with the hole in his black jeans.

“Yes?” Dan slowly prompted him.

“Well, I.” For a short moment, Phil’s eyes found Dan’s, but then he lowered his gaze again. “Nevermind.”

Phil turned around again, bending over the desk to focus back on his math homework, but Dan could see his leg bouncing and he knew Phil only did that whenever he was really nervous. He quickly got out of his comfortable position and sat up on the bed, correcting the mostly blue flower crown on his head.

“ _Phil_.”

Instead of turning around, Phil tensed up. Dan hadn’t seen him this nervous, well, _ever_ , if he was being honest. Normally, Phil would cover his nervousness by acting tough, less so when he was just with Dan though, but it seemed like he’d completely dropped the act this time.

“Phil, tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s nothing,” Phil replied and shot him a quick smile, but looked at the desk once again after.

Dan furrowed his brows. This really wouldn’t do. He got up from the bed and walked over to Phil, grabbing the desk chair and dragging him back to the bed so he could sit down opposite Phil. All the while he could see that Phil was trying to suppress a smile.

“Now, tell me what’s going on,” Dan demanded. “And don’t say nothing.”

Phil’s gaze wandered upwards to the flower crown on Dan’s head. “I just,” he started, then stopped, shaking his head in frustration.

“Hey,” Dan said softly, reaching out and grabbing Phil’s hand from where it was picking at his jeans again. “Whatever it is, you can say it. I won’t judge, okay?”

Phil nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

He took a deep breath and smiled at Dan, before looking down again. “I, um, it’s okay if you say no. But I just, I was wondering, um. You said that you didn’t want to date me.”

The last sentence came out so fast that for a moment, Dan didn’t know what to say. He’d expected a lot of things but this certainly hadn’t been one of them. He guessed that Phil had actually wanted to say something else completely, but had lost his confidence halfway through.

“I did?” he asked, his voice coming out squeaky. He couldn’t quite remember when he’d said that but he was sure that he hadn’t meant it that way or at least not like Phil had understood it.

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t mean that, like, for good. Just that I didn’t want to, um, date you before getting to know you,” he explained and squeezed Phil’s hand so he would look up again.

“Really?” Suddenly, Phil’s gaze was on him again, and Dan couldn’t help his answering “Yeah” from coming out all breathy.

Phil straightened up and this time it was him grabbing Dan’s hands. One corner of his mouth was pulled up, but Dan knew that this show of confidence wasn’t only him masking his nervousness, it was Phil actually feeling confident enough to ask for what he wanted because he knew he wasn’t being pushy.

“Would you, Dan Howell, go on a date with me?” he finally asked.

“I’d love to,” Dan answered, not able to stop the smile that made its way onto his face. He was very glad that he’d given Phil a chance and got to know him. Despite his mean-looking exterior and the annoying front he sometimes put on to mask his lack of self-confidence, he had a warm and kind heart and shared a lot of interests with Dan. He never would’ve guessed from just looking at Phil that he liked anime or that he was genuinely afraid of horses. He also never would’ve known that Phil was one of the best friends he’d ever had. He’d definitely learnt that you should never judge another person based on their looks or the first impression they gave. Because otherwise he would not be sitting in his bedroom with the boy that had become his best friend and would probably go on to be an ever bigger part in Dan’s life.

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](https://tsingadark.tumblr.com/)


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